you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
