Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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