i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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