are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it was like having sex with a tree stump
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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