Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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