you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
