Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
