Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
