Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
