Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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