Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
