It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
