you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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