booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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