Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize