what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
