i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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