Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
