Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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