Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
