that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i love accidental penises.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
