We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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