apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
