I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
