let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there is glitter all over my balls
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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