You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
