I want to walk on stilts...naked
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
