She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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