It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize