The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
