hotel room ftw
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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