btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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