i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
