I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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