yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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