i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
