I need help removing her.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
