Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
