i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
