I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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