Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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