haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
