Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
