he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
