Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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