i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
