turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
