U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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