do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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