Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
did i walk over a car last night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize