I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
