So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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