Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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