Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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