Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
