Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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