No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
