Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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