The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
