My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ketchup is God's man juice
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
