just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
