ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
