Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
