i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize