There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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